I stand at oceans edge and watch emerald waters twirl and twizzle about my ankles, sun reflecting in oceans froth and current.  To begin the usual treasure hunt in search of well-tailored nuggets tumbled against coral reefs and thrust to the shore.  My fingers lift a ruffled shell imbedded mostly in wet sand to inspect.  What was once in pristine order now bludgeoned by a rocky tidal blender is left quit broken.  Disheveled edges rough and windswept grinded smooth from lashes on stone and grit.  Churned and thumped about in a sea rambunctious until spewed to the sandy threshold for examination – most usually to be rejected and pitched back.

 This time I’m drawn to the broken and tattered shells – to marvel in the excellence cloaked beneath sun-scorched and porous mantle.  I ponder on the wholeness of each before shattered and cast aside.  The tiny life once scampering within the sheath to complete its journey to this shore.  I pluck dozens of damaged shells from the surf until arms and hands and pockets brim full.  And then to survey my bounty I place them down on a beach towel stretched out long.  Each carefully arranged for closer scrutiny -  distinctively lovely and elusive until I no longer cast the gaze on brokenness but rather raw and unspeakable beauty.  As an evening sun illuminates off glistening fissures and ridges the eye can see angles and slants folding, funneling to form a host of angels wings.  I love my broken shells as each beckons to be seen for that which remains – triumph.  A jubilation of sorts for surviving even in part the voyage of a restless and raging sea.

 Like us all. Crafted to wholeness yet at times thrashed about a current rocky, thumping at the soul like a sneaker in the dryer.  Flailing through storms raging only to be spit out as damaged goods.  And still these storms are consistent threads imbedded deep to the fabric of growth and authentic beauty.  These times provide our greatest searching to seek out exquisite and resilient places that dwell within.  Discovery of what endures the uproarious splashing and thrashing deeming to drag us asunder.

 Have you ever been thrown to a stormy blender and hurled at the shoreline feeling lifeless and fragmented – damaged goods?  Almost six years past, the emotional smashing from a broken marriage of many years found me very much shattered and disjointed in spirit. The storm lashed and flogged my reasoning to view only the rubble of devastated lives strewn in its wake.  Nice, God-fearing girls do not divorce where I come from.  Dark Night of the Soul says author Madame Guyon from the 1700’s – the hard curveballs of life that throw us off our game and into despair.  Yet as a small child, we wobble up on feet aquiver to place one tiny step before the other in declaration that brokenness does not get the final word.   

 We cannot crown brokenness the victor over our lives. The agonies of heartache seek to foster weakness – but truth and conviction smash the boarders of the deepest fears and frailty. Rough edges become smooth by the often painful grind of self-reflection and introspection.  When spat from the belly of grief a life will change – to better or bitter. This choice bequeathed to the heart.  In forgiveness and faith feet stand secure on life’s shore unashamed – for it is shame that lashes out to destroy. 

 My broken shells do not look as they once did. Each has taken on new shape and purpose.  Today they are inspiration taken to flight on angel’s wings, a constant reminder that broken things and people are not to be discarded.  But resilient the human spirit – to be mended and released to soar uninhabited in newness of life.

Pam Staver-Hope. http://pamstaver-hope.icopyright.com

Aerobic Hecklers come in a wide variety: The Flapping Birds, The Grasshoppers, The Peacocks, The Racehorses and The Hot Doggers.

The Flapping Birds are the most common.  They wave their arms incessantly like they are attempting to take flight for the first time.

The Grasshoppers add an extra hop or ball-change to every single step.  They usually just like the fun feel of it. 

The Peacocks have taken someone else’s class and they either have unbreakable steel-like neuro-muscular pathways or they just have a preference for the other instructor’s variation of a move.  Instead of actually challenging their brain to learn your version, they just do what they already know.  At times it can feel like they are suggesting that you adapt your version to theirs.  This can be especially annoying when you know that where you’re going with a move will leave them on the wrong foot - something I secretly enjoy.  This category also includes the Struttin’ Peacock who just launches into their own or someone else’s complete choreography collection.  Way beyond mere modification, their stuff totally differs from what you are trying to teach.  The seem to be in your class only to borrow your music for an hour.

The Racehorses are amazingly proficient at moving a half-beat faster than you and the music.  You somehow know it’s not that they can’t find the beat.  It appears to be an effort to suggest that you need to pick up the pace.  Actual horse blinders would fail to block them from your peripheral vision.

Hot Doggers are a mixed breed of some or all of the above, and they mostly appear when you are subbing for another popular instructor.  You just can’t teach these dogs new tricks - they already know it all.  Everything about them screams “I’m so much better than you!” and they are willing to pull out all their best stops to demonstrate the fact.  They are hard to ignore because, like the Struttin’ Peacocks, they typically like to perform for all to see, usually smack-dab in the middle of the front row.  But they differ from them because they’re not just doing their own thing, they’re trying hard to tell you to do their thing too!

How To Deal with Aerobic Hecklers

To maintain a position of authority with most heckling breeds, I usually choose first to ‘give’ them permission to modify.  Flapping arms and hopping ball-changes are relatively small modifications that participants use to add a little something extra to their own workout.  Even though you may not deem such extras as necessary and, for as much as you may be concerned for their tendons and ligaments in the long run, I say let them have at it.  If they later complain about little aches and pains of the shoulders and feet… bingo!  You’ve got an answer!

As for The Peacocks, I do give them permission as well, but I like to make some kind of point about the brain benefits of establishing new pathways.  Doing a class with moves you already know is like doing the exact same crossword puzzle every Sunday.  You can do it fast and efficiently - with little to no effort - but it’ not going to expand your vocabulary. I’ve decided that this breed just hates the discomfort of learning something new.  You’ll typically see this occur with uber-fit people who are new to you – your cuing, terminology and choreography - in which case, I like to remind everyone that if you’re not messing up, you’re not learning anything new.

The Struttin’ Peacocks can be a different story – especially if they are a ‘regular’ who struts their stuff in the front row. If they are totally doing their own thing, not following the general directional movement of the class, it can present a safety hazzard for those nearby.  Additionally, the people who are behind them have difficulty following because this person can be quite the distraction.  It is best to talk to repeat offenders after class and explain that modification to a degree is okay, but their over-modifications distract others who are trying to follow your instructions.  Most cognizant people would know to take doing their own thing to the very back of the room, but you may need to show them where the back row is where they can spin less obtrusively. If they still present a hazzard to those surrounding them, then address the issue from a safety standpoint and explain the importance of moving directionally with the rest of the group to avoid collisions with neighbors.

Racehorses – Do your best to simply ignore them, unless they become consistent offenders and you’re sure they are not just beat challenged. Speed is the main thing you control and even if they are insisting that you’re too slow, your responsibility is to the entire class.   Chances are they will find another class.

Handling a Hot Dogger takes some serious skill.  First, check to make sure that you are not projecting your own insecurity onto them. Second, resist the temptation to say “You think you can do a better job teaching?”  In stand up comedy, the profession that birthed the heckler,  it’s a golden rule to never, ever give up the microphone.  No matter how tempted, you must resist because it will be a disaster.  You might think that calling them to task is the way to put them in their place, but a proficient follower does not necessarily an instructor make.  Your job is to teach the class and turning it over to someone else is not what your participants showed up for – they are there for your class, not someone else who may or may not be able to teach.  But let’s say they actually can teach… then what?  Either way, it’s lose - lose.

The best way to handle it, if you can’t ignore it, is to first give them what they want – attention!  Yes, you heard me right…  say something nice or complimentary. If you just can’t summon up something to say, then recheck your own insecurities.  Truth is, saying something positive is not giving up your authority, it serves to reinforce it. 

Choose Your Battles Wisely

When faced with outright defiance, you can choose to ignore or choose to correct.  If you assess that the acts present immediate danger to either the partcipant or to those around them, you need to correct.  Some people may actually be able to keep up with 3 risers on their step, but if you know that your music and choreography combined with excessive height equals a wreck waiting to happen, then say something. 

If unsure, start with a general correction directed at everyone – state the level of complexity and the speed of your music and suggest that one may need to adjust their step height if they can’t execute the patterns with control.  As you proceed, if the participant missed the message and you feel that imminent danger calls for a direct correction, start with a compliment (Wow, You Are Really Fit), state the correction (The Speed and Complexity Combined with Step Height is Compromising Your Form) and then finish with a compliment (Which I Noticed Your Fine Technique During The Warm-Up).  Surrounding a correction with compliments helps to diffuse what can feel like an attack that puts the person on the defensive.  Confrontation tends to make everyone, including others in the class, awkwardly uncomfortable. 

When your concern is that of potential injury over time and the participant ignores general corrections, you may need to give them a pass on the first couple of classes - let them off easy with just a warning (general correction) rather than giving them a ticket (direct correction).  If they come back and still don’t get the message, you can go with the ticket, but with repeat offenders, if at all possible, talk to them one on one before or after class.

In stand up comedy, the pros carefully craft one-liners to throw out to hecklers – they may sound ‘off the cuff’, but the truth is they have an arsenal of snappy comebacks.  All they are doing is pulling up the line that fits the situation.  Aerobic professionals can learn to handle aerobic hecklers the same way by building their own arsenal of positive niceties and succint corrections to dish out wisely as needed.  While the comedian’s goal is to make everyone laugh – often at the expense of the heckler – your’s is to host the party and make everyone feel comfortable – keeping in mind that the ultimate goal is for all of them to want to come back.

The reflection from the looking glass speaks a story – not of the exterior only, but beyond the pupils into the soul.  Where to focus but on tiny steps stirring forward in constant search of authentic self, only to leap ten giant steps back when the marker advances in the blame game. 

A subtle one this game of blame, leaving control of our lives up for grabs.  Far-reaching are the tentacles that assign failure to things and people only to smother our own prospect for self-improvement.  But to recognize truth and fact is to grow character.  Can body type be blamed for unhappiness?  To view fact, some people gain weight easier than others, so we adjust accordingly.  Does the negative prattle of a friend dear drag you to misery’s threshold?  Though kindness is forever in style, the decision to expose your mind to a diet of destructive chatter belongs to you alone.

When sifting ourselves into the mix, blame is replaced with personal growth.  “ Aunt Martha may drive me a bit buggy, but I choose to be a part of her life.”  No blaming.  “My father was angry and abusive, that’s why I’m seeking help.”   Recognizing our contribution to a situation without the slinging of mud.   To ignore the measure in which we engage begets the pecking away – of peace and harmony to the soul.   Does someone come to mind who consistently calls the world into accountability for their misfortune?  Always another to blame for their lot in life – are they happy – prosperous?

It is the owning-up that frees us to place the foot solidly on more fertile soil.  Futile is the goal to remold others to our liking.  And not a great formula for personal happiness. Change the person in the mirror – this is a good thing.  Carelessness of others will bring frustration, even deeds that crush the heart; still, to place the foot steady forward we must close the blame game.  Truly we ask, is there anything to win?  Does it edify to convince others how blameless we are? 

When tempted to hurl fault for a bungled opportunity or lousy experience, two things can keep the head level; a lesson learned and owning our part.  Wagging the finger has potential to deflates and de-motivate.  After all, why not give up if control of the outcome has been tossed to the wind?  But take responsibility and expect the unexpected.  Who knows, maybe the storm didn’t rain on your parade after all – you just needed a back-up plan.

I love how John Burroughs sums it up; a man can fail many times, but he isn’t a failure until he begins to blame somebody else.

Consistently passing the buck can stem from a sense of unimportance possibly rooted in ill-fated childhood experiences.  However, at some point we drive the heels of responsibility for our actions to the pavement and force blame to a screeching halt.  Refuse to see the image of a victim staring back at you.  Like a pebble to the well, pity fades to darkness while life thirsty to be lived.  Today, no more jaded perception of the face in the mirror – no blaming.  Not for what we possess or lack.  Nor for what has been achieved or lost along journey’s way.  Who of us cannot raise the glass to Michael Jackson’s lyrics …

 I’m Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I’m Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change

© 2011, Pam Staver-Hope. http://pamstaver-hope.icopyright.com

 Where do you go to touch the earthen floor?  To feel light wrapped in sunbeams filtered through pine limbs that warm the face.  Escape the crazy of life to inhale the fragrant smells of moss on trees and wild honeysuckle sweet.  As the moon marks off the seasons, so must we seek revered moments where invigorating springs gush through the parched ravines of the soul to refresh again.

 Shackled to the constant flurry of hurry to do, shuttle there, grab more, move hands and feet at brisk tempo  – hectic rush.  And strive to live in a moment and sip from the succulence of here and now while the ticking of the clock moves us forward with dependable cadence – seconds to days, into years.  There is no stopping this rhythm from cradle to grave.  Our greatest asset lies between the two – time. 

 Still the heart pounds tempo like a thunderous stampede of Running of the Bulls to make even more haste until feet are slammed to the brakes.  My mom writes in journals now for over 35 years.  At days end when the sun says good night her pen scratches to paper how time was spent.  Then she reads the same days moments scribbled one year before to compare – keeping track of time.  Silent reflection and thanks for moments summoned up.  The journal gives witness to these memories.  To quiet the mind as syllables and thoughts leak from heart through fingertips.  Brings harmony within the soul.

 Like nature.  Fresh aroma of moist, cool soil following a spring shower awakens and titillates the senses.  Cobwebs swept from thoughts as billowing wind whistles through outstretched fingerstips.  When the spirit cries for peace, nature will not deceive.  To find wilderness is to find sacred space in the universe that warms the heart and bestows lessons of wild love, not chastened but charmed into us.

 We should turn, then, to Nature, says poet and essayist Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-82).  Nature love as Emerson knew it.  “You are dealing with things at first hand, and you get a rule, a standard, that serves you though life.  You are dealing with primal sanities, primal honesties, primal attraction; you are touching at least the hem of the garment with which the infinite is clothed.”

 The spirit craves refreshment from sweet waters of such raw and passionate elements the earth alone offers.  Wisps of delicate plants dance on sandstone cliffs – this is devotional art.  Refuge for a twinkling to breathe deep into lunges all the bounty tossed high from the apron of mother earth.  Natural beauty ministers healing and strength – serene vision of peace – moments quiet and delicate.

 The tick of the clock will be forever constant.  We have time to spend – in haste or seeking peace.  Look to the hills from which comes our strength.  William O. Douglas, said that “to be in tune with the universe is the whole secret.”

© 2011, Pam Staver-Hope. http://pamstaver-hope.icopyright.com

Hope.  Without which the heart is denied refreshment.  It thirsts for hope like desert parched and dry.  To know there is great purpose in life – in your life.  The one voice of conviction and truth greater than any beckons to thread our hearts to this reality.  Every breath and beat of the heart; the pulsing of blood in and out of veins weave moments together whisking us from sorrows to hope again.  Who can know why we endure grief to overflowing except to reveal the luster of unshakable hope at journeys end.  Hope somehow filters through the cracks to mend up our broken places once we cry out for rescue.  Out loud and on purpose.

The glow of hope cupped near the heart of our mind’s eye – so deliberate, yet shakable. Fragile, perceptible, life-giving hope.  Believe and hold firm that affirmative thought of what you wish to achieve.  Replacing each negative with the glorious positive as weakness transfigures to strength and despair to hope.  Not in the waiting, but the doing as hope becomes verb; movement within the soul.  Search for it with all your heart and it shall be found …

Hopelessness seeks only to immobilize and though the solution may not come without persistence and grit – we press in and move forward.  Answers may not come when hardship nips at the heels of life, yet hope shall forever bolster the human spirit to rise above - to sustain.

With no place but the army’s oath, an angry young man of eighteen escaped the heated words and violence of a Stepfather to carve his way in the world.  Four years later, Arthur returned home to find his girl engaged and family indifferent to his accomplishments.  His closest companion was found in a bottle.  The drink bolstered self-confidence and a knack for losing pain – it also brought addiction.  Like a train derailed, even the love of a wife and daughter could not divert Arthur’s destruction.  Twenty-five years wrapping fingers around the flask left him penniless with relationships splintered beyond repair.  Was it even possible for these tired bones to rise up and dance out of so great a valley of destruction?   Feet shaken and weary, he planted his steps toward hope. The knot burned in his throat as he screamed, “If you’re anywhere to be found God, please help me.”  Arthur says a miracle happened that night as slivers of hope seeped into the black of his world   Hope in courage to confront and refuse a toxic potion that for him reaped destruction.  Ten years past this good man remains sober with life’s passion to offer hope to others.

Can we not all give account of hope in our lives?   We wrestle with our own humanity and circumstances only to find slices of light peering through the cracks in the walls of our soul, warming the rustic floorboard of the heart.  Hope.  Drink in plenty for yourself and offer a cup to others.  It seeps into our pores as the sun’s warmth and lightly brushes the skin like a spring breeze.  It is in the laughter and standing arm in arm with others.  It is watching a broken life transformed and healed to begin renewed.

 “Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.”  Dale Carnegie

© 2011, Pam Staver-Hope. http://pamstaver-hope.icopyright.com

It would be impossible not to be affected by the catastrophic events of the past few days in Japan.  The images depicting complete homes and cars washed out to sea by the tsunami, savaging families to be left without the simple necessities of life.  At Hartsfield-Jackson airport in Atlanta, tormented onlookers waited in anguish to catch a glimpse of their loved one disembarking the plane that flew over the great city as the 8.9-magnitiude earthquake, most powerful in the country’s recorded history, convulsed and jolted the earth below.  

Life is fragile, knit loosly with vagueness and uncertainty.  To witness such devastation causes us to reevaluate the perspective of our own lives.  Moments before the ground rumbled and snarled, fathers where separated from daughters and brothers not speaking; mothers in angst over a child’s shoddy decision and children angry at parents.  Such is human nature.  The heart gets bruised and stockades erect between people to protect from further pain.  But the walls fabricated in our most precious relationships usually end up causing us more heartache.

My son PJ always says, “You have to have your very worst days so you can have your very best days.”  I agree.  If he has an awful day, he tells me that now he’ll be able to appreciate his next wonderful day even more.   

Most of our worst days will not compare to what Japan has just experienced.  And to connect with these people who share like desires and dreams for their families and themselves cause our hearts to react; by sending thoughts and prayers to the afflicted who walk out this horrific monstrosity and extending finances or supplies to help rebuild broken lives, if possible.  But, we can also react by taking personal inventory of ourselves … surveying the barriers around our own hearts that should be shaken to the ground.

Do you have family members not communicating with one another for fear of picking up the phone and facing rejection?  Perhaps someone has let you down and is seeking forgiveness?  Is there a loved one that deserves an apology but pride wedged sideways in the throat is too big to swallow, or the sun went down on anger so many times the right words seem illusive?  Yet crisis has a way of pulling people together, helping overcome hardship and even finding the words that seem to have tangled the tongue.  Such is the dialouge that cause a fortress surrounding hearts to collapse.

But it should not take a tragedy.   We have a screaming testimony set before us by looking into the eyes of the grief stricken people of Japan to do what we can to bring the walls down between ourselves and those we love.  It’s never too late until separated by the grave.   

In the lyrics of his hit song, Live Like You Were Dyin’, Tim McGraw, sums up these thoughts about a man being given a short time to live:

“And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
“And I gave forgiveness I’d been denying.”
An’ he said: “Some day, I hope you get the chance,
“To live like you were dyin’.”

Yes, today truly is a gift.  Go share it with someone you love ~

© 2011, Pam Staver-Hope. http://pamstaver-hope.icopyright.com

Two little words can make a world of difference and determine you to feel grateful or ungrateful, happy or unhappy.  Like silken molasses drips from the spoon, it tastes good to both the giver and receiver – just a simple pair of syllables changes everything – Thank You.

 In perusing the colors and chaos of life, who do you choose to be most of the time?  Marvelous that we get to make that choice, isn’t it?  We either thank someone who has reached out to bless us or decide to be ungrateful and do not, which can affect both people negatively.  Feeling unappreciated conjures up disappointment and resentment while an unappreciative spirit robs us of sopping up the abundance that a caring moment ushers into our lives.

 Don’t you love a good fable?  In the following Greek tale about the man, the serpent and the fox, we’ll see a good deed gone unappreciated:

There was once a huntsman, who, in passing a quarry, found a serpent under a large stone. The serpent asked the hunter to liberate him, but the latter said, “I will not free you, for you will eat me.”

The serpent replied, “Liberate me, for I will not eat you.”

When the hunter had set the serpent at liberty, the latter wanted to devour him, but the hunter said, “What are you doing? Did you not promise me that you would not eat me?”

The serpent replied that hunger did not observe promises.

The hunter then said, “If you have no right to eat me, will you do it?”

“No,” answered the serpent.

“Let us go, then,” said the hunter, “and ask three times.”

They went into the woods and found a greyhound, and asked him, and he replied, “I had a master, and I went hunting and caught hares, and when I carried them home my master had nothing too good to give me to eat. No, when I cannot overtake even a tortoise, because I am old, my master wishes to kill me. For this reason I condemn you to be eaten by the serpent, for he who does good finds evil.”

“Do you hear? We have one judge,” said the serpent. They continued their journey, and found a horse, and asked him, and he too replied that the serpent was right to eat the man, “for,” he said, “I had a master who fed me when I could travel. Now that I can do so no longer, he would like to hang me.”

The serpent said, “Behold, two judges!”

They went on and found a fox. The huntsman said, “Fox, you must aid me. Listen: I was passing quarry and found this serpent dying under a large stone, and he asked aid from me, and I released him, and now he wants to eat me.”

The fox answered, “I will be the judge. Let us return to the quarry to see how the serpent was.”

They went there and put the stone on the serpent, and the fox asked, “Is that the way you were?”

“Yes,” answered the serpent.

“Very well then, stay so always!” said the fox.

Wise ole fox.  Had serpent kept his word and been the least bit grateful, he could have slithered into glorious liberty.  Instead, he went back to the confined miserable pit where we first found him.   And an attitude of ingratitude drags us headlong into a pit of despair.  Had serpent been thankful for being rescued in the first place, he would have been far too happy to be focused on feeding his belly.  It’s almost impossible to be truly grateful without being at least marginally happy.  Thankful begets good cheer for there is always something to be thankful about.

If thanking others is somehow out of your comfort zone for whatever reason, warm-up to the idea by practicing on you or a pet.  Pat yourself on the back for putting gas in the car or fixing dinner.  Express thanks to kitty for greeting you at the door or making a good companion.  Stay constant with your gratitude dialogue until it begins spilling out onto people.  Journal how it feels to express thankfulness to others you love, those who hold a door, offer a place in line or extend a kindness.  Tuck these experiences  neatly into the pocket of your soul to learn the priceless gift of receiving and returning a generosity with an open heart.

Choicing grateful words can also help manage the challenging circumstances of daily life.   Much of our perspective and framework of how we view ourself  and the world is directly tied to our level of thankfulness.

Here in lies the opportunity to connect with our higher self and source of love and truth; to know gratefulness and the expression of appreciation for all that it is.

Thank you …

© 2011, Pam Staver-Hope. http://pamstaver-hope.icopyright.com

  photo credit: Waponi  ~  In the 1812 telling of Hansel and Gretel, two youngsters of a poor woodcutter are abandoned in the deep forest by the hand of their wicked stepmother’s malicious concoction to spare a few bucks by not having to feed them.  Having been privy to the deceptive scheme, Hansel fills his pockets with white pebbles to sprinkle along the way in hopes of later catching the moon’s illuminating glow off the tiny stones to create a path homeward.  Of course there is much to this Brothers Grimm classic which finds our wee friends on a wild adventure involving a wicked witch and candy cane structure.  But alas, in the land of make-believe, good eventually overtakes evil and they all lived happily ever after.

Our boy Hansel had the innate intuition of a hiker.  He understood that sometimes we have to turn around and take a good look at where we’ve been so we don’t lose our way.  In hiking there is a tendency to cast the gaze straight ahead and miss completely the view from other perspectives.  Without pausing occasionally to see what the terrain looks like from the opposite direction, one can experience difficulty in seeking the way home. 

But why expend precious energy craning the neck in hopes of viewing a few tiny white pebbles?  After all, life is about moving forward with aspirations of blazing new and exciting trails.  Shouldn’t the past always be left behind and not allowed to slink its way into our present?   We know it’s ridiculous wasting precious time dwelling in the past and berating ourselves for mistakes of days gone by (see blog 01.14.11, Look Forward Not Back), but these blunders are also some of our greatest blessings.  Like miniature stones illuminating the moons glow to find our way, oftentimes a gentle recap of past slipups can reveal a better way when faced with similar circumstance.   

Though our iniquities can return to bite us, they also come back to teach and bless, for we have the opportunity to learn and in the future, exercise better judgment.  Ever notice when you’re making all the right choices and life travels along at a peaceable stride, it’s recorded in your memory as having got it right?  These are idyllic moments and even rewards of your labor.  It’s the intervals of falling flat on your face that have you scratching your noggin to figure a better of handling a situation.  This is when we have the blessing of learning new things about ourselves and making critical decisions that ultimately affect destiny and purpose.  I once heard it said that we never fail any of the tests presented with during our lifetime – we simply get to keep taking the test until we get it right.  Tiny white pebbles enlightening our way through reiteration … 

When we act on an emotional or impulse response to our perception of a need or desired outcome, we often repeat mistakes.  Like driving past the car dealership proudly showcasing your favorite ride.  You have no intention of making a purchase since recently buying your title from the bank after five long years … but perhaps a quick peek.  A swift turn maneuvers you into the lot and has you thinking there is little harm in playing pretend for a few moments.  After all, what is more exhilarating than soaking in that new car smell?  Glorious!  The sales guy is remarkable and takes notice of how terrific you look perched in the driver’s seat.  He is also willing to offer a zero percent interest and take your old car in on trade.  It’s as though you’ve hit the lottery.  With little pomp and circumstance, you’re signing papers and pulling away from the lot behind the wheel of your dream-mobile.  And it feels exhilarating until the first statement arrives to remind you how great it was not having a car payment, while the new somehow begins to lose its luster.  Perfect example of how glancing back at the landscape of our past could have equipped in making difference choices to avoid unnecessary grief. 

The reflection from these moments of our past can apply to any number of things; our attitude, words that fly from lips in haste with marginal thought, procuring our way at the expense of another.  Tis all part of our journey; not intended to shame or belittle but to grow and train our hearts and minds to be the best we can and to save ourselves the sorrow of repeating unhealthy patterns.

Keep your eyes focused on the path set before, and every now and then turn around and glance at the scenery of where you’ve been to stay well-grounded and moving in the right direction.

 “It’s never too late to be what you might have been.”  George Eliot

© 2011, Pam Staver-Hope. http://pamstaver-hope.icopyright.com

For me, there is nothing quite like a yielding solace found at the ocean’s edge.  Watching newly created footprints quickly erased by a hastening tide playing tag with my feet.   Everything about its vastness gives perspective to my littleness and need for nurture, somehow offering a reminder that I have not been abandoned, nor turned away from myself.  But since I no longer live close to the ocean, the discipline of maintaining this perspective becomes even more deliberate. 

A few years ago while on a business trip in South Beach, Florida, I headed out for a quick jog on the beach.  Feeling an almost frantic compulsion to workout, minus the joy and exhilaration of my lush surroundings, this song exploded in my head; “Slow down, you move too fast, you’ve got to make the morning last.”  A bit startled, I immediately stopped and looked down to find the most exquisite shell and coral sculpture, fastidiously crafted by the sea.   What my soul cried out for at that moment was a time to reflect and center.  Time to enjoy and bathe in the splendor of the backdrop set before me and for that moment, slow the heck down and breathe in some life.   Am I saying not to run on the beach?  Nonsense.  Many times throughout life I have succumb to these soft, or sometimes urgent whispers in my spirit, but only once been brought to a standstill from full-on gait.

The matchless treasure given to me that day sits atop my desk as a reminder to not miss it.  To pay attention to my inner voice and attend to the needs of my soul.  To prompt myself to seek joy in the moment, for this is where life is lived.  For gratitude in even the smallest gem laid at my feet.

How vital are the whispers of the heart that light the lantern of wellness and comfort.  So often the expressions of love from our beloved companion, this voice, are extinguished by the rattling noises of life.  But there is wonderful news.  For in our most frenzied state of neglecting this essencial piece which desires us to bathe in our senses and peel back a moment to discern what lies on the other side of stillness; we are never forsaken.   This is the spirit side which continually bids to lift us to a higher and more peaceful place of existence.   Sure and steadfast the commitment to love is this voice, that even if ignored for years, a strength and solace can be found in quiet yearning and seeking.   So sweet a whisper does not beat you up or say horrible things behind your back, but constant to usher a sense of balance and order when we shut the rest of the hullabaloo out long enough to hear. 

Slow yourself to reveal the part that deliberately sees someone good staring back from the bathroom mirror.  Refuse the negative and welcome the positive voice directing your path and offering up encouraging words of affirmation.  Believe in the honest good that makes up so much of who you are without allowing past failures to flash a condemning sneer.  Take pause to receive this voice that inspires your goodness.  And if it’s urging you to stop and pay attention to a special moment, give heed.  Who knows, you may discover an unusual treasure resting humbly at your feet in the midst of commotion and flurry.

“The notes I handle are no better than many pianists.  But the pause between the notes – ah, that is where the art resides.”  ~ Arthur Schnabel 

 

 

© 2011, Pam Staver-Hope. http://pamstaver-hope.icopyright.com

 

The assumption of forecasting our day to be turbocharged with happiness is a wonderful thought indeed.  Not only is the spoken word packed with power, but even as tiny seeds, our thoughts begin to sprout forth the shaping and defining of our lives.  One of my favorite Proverbs says; “For as a [man] thinks in his heart, so he is.”   If we subscribe to the adage “we are what we eat,” then “we do what we think,” plops down in the same ballpark.  And if we are what we think, then we can make up our minds to be productive or futile.   

Please do not misconstrue my meaning to say if we want something badly enough, tenacious and steadfast thinking will surely bring it to pass; regrettably, we leave this with the animated mice that stitch princess gowns from home-spun yarn. However, we do have the ability to make up our minds about how we will embrace life.  We can decide each morning to be the kind of person that others would like to be around and emulate, or complain about everything from the weather to the corns on our toes. 

Ever notice when you mull over something long enough, eventually it becomes part of your thinking?  For instance, you desire some chunky-monkey ice cream but have sworn off sweets for a month.  All through the day you visualize enjoying the forbidden treat, ponder over it during your break and can almost taste the decadent overload of chocolate.  Where do you suppose you’ll stop off on the way home?  To buy some chunky-monkey.  The seed was planted early in the day and provided ample water and fertilizer to cultivate an overwhelming desire.  Had you refused to dwell on the thought once it entered your mind, resisting the ice-cream would have been much easier.

You are the master of your thoughts.  If you decide your day is rotten and awful before putting your feet on the floor, do you expect to receive much better?   Think well of yourself.  You deserve that.  Of course you want to enjoy a wonderful and happy life.  It’s not our aspiration to self-sabotage, but takes practice to make our mind submit to healthy thinking.  We can all come up to a higher place in this area.  It’s far too easy to hear negative thoughts in the mind about how we look, feel or somehow don’t make the grade based on what other people project.  Rubbish.  Like a costly treasure, if you spend time thinking about the positive attributes you possess, your heart and mind will be prepared to respond to life’s situations with purpose and good intention.

Before stumbling to the kitchen for some hot java when you awaken, carve out a few moments to set your mind on the kind of day you will have.  Think about your blessings and the people you will see.  Consider the laughter and joy to be experienced and relished.  You’ll be thinking yourself into a state of happy before the covers fly off.

You’re going to have a fantastic day today.  Yes … I think you shall.  

“Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think.”
—Benjamin Disraeli