Pam Staver-Hope
A few days ago I happened upon a most insightful comedy; “The Invention of Lying.” A modern-day saga with one huge exception, lying had not yet been invented. One would think this to be a good thing, but to the contrary because the straightforward words that formed from each mouth were bitter, hurtful and extremely negative. And as a consequence we took a peep into a dreadfully miserable society. In the film, if you thought someone to be unattractive or pudgy nosed, it was blurted without apology. None escaped the anxiety and gloom that was forecast and advertised freely. This of course, until our main character accidentally invents how to tell a lie, and because this had never happened, all humanity was genetically wired to believe what he said. When destructive words were spoken, he shot back phrases of hope and joy– and zappo – a person’s reality instantly changed. You get the picture.
The words formed on our tongue do hold power, most likely enough to reshape our destiny. Amazing how a small rudder can control the intention of a ships journey and yet how impossible the task of regulating the trajectory and content of what falls from our lips. Words are compelling. They can make or destroy friendships, marriages, jobs and how we feel about ourselves. That whole sticks and stones adage is really pretty bogus. Words can break your heart and hurt a lot worse than a broken bone at times – we all know that. Haven’t you ever wished you could take back something you’ve said? I surely have! To think we’ve figured out how to make that slight rudder navigate a massive vessel to stay the course and yet not a single person can boast of having full command over this undersized thing wagging inside our mouth.
But let’s face it. We’re all a bit like broken shells washed up on the shore doing the best we can to survive the, what sometimes seems, continuous storms of life. So we say what we must to get by. And if it means cursing ourselves and a few others to get through the day, so be it – right? It’s a bit like breathing. The first and last thing we’ll ever do. Every cell, muscle fiber and organ in our body craves gobs of oxygen to thrive. But most of us are shallow breathers, so we take in enough to simply survive. We have the ability to change the way we breathe if we’re willing to make the effort, and in the process, feel a whole lot better. Such are the words we speak over ourselves and others–resembling life-giving breath. When we proclaim positive, healthy, inspiring prophecies our lives will be more positive, healthy and joyful and we will bless others and become a delight to those around us. Think about the people in your life you most enjoy spending time with. For me, it’s those who try to find the good in life around them. Those who refuse to spend every waking moment complaining about how life has slighted them at every turn. Life is hard and there are demanding challenges for us all. Goodness knows we need each other to help shoulder our burdens and thankful for the people in my life who come along side of me when I need a lift. Life was not meant to be lived alone. But some people are never (dare we say, ever) happy. Not an occasional crisis, but a life-draining experience each time you talk to them. Seems they have forever been a victim of someone or something …fatiguing. And how uplifted and jubilant do you feel after spending time with one of these happy creatures?!
Do you think if you stumble to the mirror each morning and boldly forecast to yourself, “Same crap, different day,” you’re setting yourself up to receive all things good?
I’ve always told my sons that our words are like an enormous feather pillow on a windy day. Take the pillow outside, cut it open and shake the heck out of it. After watching the feathers whip around in-flight for a while, try to gather them all up and stuff them back into the pillow. Impossible. That’s about how easy it is to take our words back once they’ve been release from our lips.
A few years ago during lunch with a dear friend, I repeated some information that wounded her deeply. I mistook her silence as wanting to know something from me and could not have been wider off the mark. The feathers had been scattered and damage done. Although there was no malice in my heart to hurt her it happened anyway because I was not careful with my words.
Each day we have the choice to speak life or death to those around us and to ourselves – May we all chose life.
So I’m choosing life for myself and those who happen to cross my path for the next 365 days. This is my challenge for the New Year and I invite you to come along on my journey. There will be ample occasion to bump eyeballs with nastiness, gloom, and harsh hearts and to allow them to rob our joy. Or we can choose to speak life over ourselves. Who knows … we just may schoomze ourselves happy.
“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in baskets of sliver.”
©2010 Copyright Pam Staver-Hope – All Rights Reserved. Reprints by Permission Only
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